Today's insight comes from Zoe Kidwell, an extremely talented event planner with over 5 years of wedding planning under her belt. She shares the essential do's, don'ts, and how to handle planning dilemmas.
Question- I just got engaged, Where do I start?
Answer- Spread the good news of course! Personally, I rather visit friends and family to share the exciting news face to face with them instead of them finding out via social media, but everyone is different. With telling everyone about the special day comes the excitement for the bigger day and that is when 'Communication' becomes the important key. Not only does communication become important with keeping friends and family up to date, but becomes important with the significant other in budgeting, where to consider the wedding, and extra details that come along in the process. The 3 main things to have locked down after engagement is budget, date, and venue. Figuring out the budget allows you to know what you are working with and building on from there. Having that date gives you the limit of what venues will be open for you.....
Question- I have a huge family, but a small budget. What should I do?
Answer- Preach! Because unfortunately my budget won't be unlimited either. Equality is a very important factor, people want to be picky when it comes to choosing who comes. But, this is your family and your relationship is more important than one day so don't ruin it by being picking with those extra cousins or half related, twice removed aunt and uncle. If you're going to invite that 3rd cousin, you need to be equal and invite all those 3rd cousins. If you don't want children at your wedding but are allowing certain children to come, lets be honest you are stiring up some issues. However, you can use a hall pass and involve them in the wedding to allow those few favorite kids, we won't tell. Also be straight forward with the parents and explain that you still want them to come even though their kids can't. Have them use this as a fun night out 'date night' and enjoy the evening of drinks, dancing, and socializing without the kids for once. Also if your own parents are helping out financial, ask them for advice to see if they have thoughts on inviting the extra cousins or if their budget has more wiggle room.
Question- How many bridesmaids are too many bridesmaids?
Answer- Everyone is different. I think it is all in the way you manage them. Coming from a huge family whom's brothers both had 10+ groomsmen is normal; however, not everyone else thinks that. Another thing to consider is that you need to be able to accodemdate all the bridesmaids, not everyone wants to get their make up/hair done, so be understanding if a few don't participate in one or two of the festivities. With big numbers, means lots of personalities; therefore, you want to make sure that they all can get along and everyone feels included. If you're asking more for the concern of going down the aisle you should have a good enough photographer that is able to get a picture of everyone and if you are still worried you can always start the procession earlier.
Question- Benefits To A Catholic Wedding.
First great benefit is you will have an officiant who knows the ceremony from front to back. All you have to do is chose the music and reading, which is usually out on a template for you to pick. Another great benefit is you have the choice of having a full Catholic mass ceremony or half Catholic ceremony. Irregardless, you'll be married into the Catholic church either way. One other great benefit of having a Catholic wedding are the Pre-Cana classes. This is where you are assigned to other couples who become your sponsors that you are able to talk to about your values, morals, and get you both on the same page. These classes allow you to think of things you may have not considered before from how you'll raise the kids, how finances will work, future goals, and other great questions to go over before you commit your life to someone. A great resource!
Question- Honoring a parent/sibling who have past away.
Answer- This is something super important to me because I have found someone who I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with, who sadly is missing a great person in their life, who I was unfortunately not able to meet. And with not being able to meet him it is even more important to honor him. There are a few different ways to honor someone, you can do it in a silent way where only a few people know about it or you can do it where the whole wedding party and guests are involved. Small ways would be by choosing a poem, a reading, or a song that is one of their favorites or represents them and use it during the ceremony. You can also use a piece of material from their clothing and sew it into a dress, suit jacket, or hanky. You can never go wrong with a memory table from pictures to letters of those special ones or a toast at the end of the night to them. Regardless that person will be there in spirit and although this moment may be bittersweet, just know your loved one would rather it be sweet then bitter.
Yes, I do have a certain idea that I will be using for my wedding, but that idea won't be released, so you'll have to stay tuned because you never know when it may be blogged about.
Question- How not to be a Bridezilla.
People do really enjoy helping out so when they offer a helping hand take advantage. Those close friends, aunt, or cousin really would love to help out and taking that small task off your hand that you just don't have time for. Also that's where hiring a day of coordinator/ wedding planner comes in handy to keep you on track and for you to not worry about the small, medium or large details because thats their job and what they are there for. This also goes back to the bridesmaids make sure you have that strong group of trustworthy people around you for your big day to allow you to relax and take care of any last minute task you think of. In addition, this is where making 'To Do Lists' will become your best friend. There's nothing better than sitting down making a list seeing what you need to do and then be able to cross it off after you finish it. Most importantly remember to breathe and that at the end of the day you'll be marrying the love of your life!
Looking for more insight or help on an event from Zoe Kidwell.